Whisper of Silence

My Ten minute dream

2010-05-14T05:19:00.000-07:00

Smoke, thick black smoke all around. I choke and opened my eyes covered in sweat. It is 3.30 in the morning and the third day in a row I am seeing this nightmare. I don’t want to open my eyes. It is too early to break the sleep especially after having less sleep for the last few days. I got up from the bed to have some water. My mind is ruffled, don’t know what to do. Why am I seeing the same dreams again? All I remember is some bits and pieces of it. I’m confused.

Life is sometimes filled with thick black smokes, suffocating and confusing. Nightmares of reality are scarier than the ones that wake the sleep. Last few months of my life was filled with such thick smokes especially after I lost my job. Rain drops started beating the window glass. I got up to close the window. The sudden lightening gave a blink of my reflection on the window glass. I was shocked to see how scary I looked. More like a beast and less human. I realized the darkness inside me is more than what I see outside.

This is the darkest hour of the day and I turned around. All I could see and feel was more darkness and loneliness. I got frustrated by my life. I wanted to scream but couldn’t do that. I closed my eyes and sat on the floor, hopeless and aimless. Wiped my wet eyes and looked at my diary lying on the floor through my moist eyes. I turned a few pages, read a few words. I felt I was traveling through the pages of my past. March 14th I was awarded the best employee, 18th March I had the most romantic date with my girlfriend. May 7th I had a fight with my girlfriend, over my drinking habits. Next day she left me. I turned pages after that read one or two lines from each page. I realized how dark my heart became over days. Days and seasons passed. I am falling from deep to deeper abyss of emptiness. I wish I got my life back. I took my phone and typed just “hi”, but was scared to press the send button. The voice inside me said, don’t you dare text her. I was so tired I slept there on the floor.

The rain stopped, birds started chirping. The first ray of light hit my face. I saw her face right next to me. I was shocked I opened my eyes. Alas, it was just a dream. I looked around, it’s still raining, and the window is beating against the wind. May be I didn’t lock the window the other night. Finally I saw a good dream after such a long time.

A sparrow named Allegra

2009-11-27T20:36:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday morning I looked out of my window to feel the fresh air hit my heart. The sun was shining high. The rays straight on my eyes, made me blind for a moment. The giggling sound of children, riding their bicycles ringing the bells, all tells one thing they are enjoying the Sunday morning which reminds me of my childhood. Right outside my window I can see a huge mango tree with lots of birds and their nests. The Chirping of the birds are heard from all directions, singing in chorus.

Allegra is beautiful, lovely and has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. I first saw her a few months ago, a Sunday like this. I still remember her voice like a sweet sound humming in my ear. She was alone and helpless, I saw it in her eyes. I took her home feed her gave her a shelter, took care of her. She became part of my life. She sings for me and delights my lamentable soul.

Life feels good when you have someone to love, a reason to live. I felt this feeling first when I was 4 years old. She was my first friend she also sings well like Allegra but one day she flew away from my life. Love is like a wind; its chills our heart makes us fly in the sky and touch the clouds. Like a feather floating in gale.

Out in the window I see so many birds some flying, some singing some enjoying their Sunday morning in their nest. Different feathers, different voices, different nests. Life is different for everyone; some speak the language some don’t understand. Inside my mind I knew we all are just as same as them. Some strive to fly, some proving the world their whole life what they are worth, some spending all their life to built their nest. Yet no one understands each other. I finally have a nest of my own and a bird to live with me. I ajar the window to let the light enter the room. The ray of light was targeting the lady on the bed. Like a reflex Allegra moved her head and slightly opened her eyes; she gave a smile before she stretched her hands and yawned.

“Good morning, rise and shine” I said. What’s the time she muttered still lying on the bed. Just 8 I replied and passed her the mug of coffee. She smiled and kissed me before she took the mug. I feel fulfilled in life when I see Allegra. I smiled and looked at her eyes on end. Before I got up from the bed, I gave a fleeting look at the tattoo of the sparrow at the side of her neck. The sparrow I call Allegra.

A Symphony in August

2009-11-19T20:49:00.000-08:00

Far in the middle of somewhere
Deep in the middle of an autumn morn
Brightly I heard some oratorio
Smitten by the music I stopped my walk

It was coming from a church
Where angels dance and praise their lord
I rested on a bench near an orchard
The only place for a gypsy like me to sojourn

My feet moved towards the church
And my ears towards the hymn
At last my feet rested on the threshold
And I gazed through the cranny near the door

The countdown has ended
And I’ve spot the singer
The creator of that music
Born from the strings of an Irish violin.

I found the one I was searching
In the autumn breeze I saw her face
Dry leaves falls in the wind outside
But tulips bloom in my heart inside

Between the fields of daffodils
I called your name
The echo was heard thrice
But you never answered me

Cluster of stars, gaggle of geese
Bouquet of roses, or bevy of ladies
Nothing can outstand your beauty
You are the queen of my heart

O’er the lush mountains
Down in the gallant valley
Where delphinium grows lovely
Thee art the only one I oat dream

O’er the mighty crag
Here by the pacing tide
Inside the empty elfin grot
I ransacked you my queen

Walking through the green pastures
I sang your melody like a barmy
You are the unfinished rhyme
In the lines of my life

All my life I talked to god for a sign
I called the gale, the glen the star
The spurt of white, the flying bird
And finally my agazing eyes and loitering feet found rest

Today here tomorrow is mystery
Life of a gypsy is always strange
For me love is a dream
Like bubbles floating over water

The shooting star up in the air tells
That someday we’ll dwell together forever
Because somewhere in this galaxy
God almighty have heard my prayers

The Little Orphan Boy

2009-11-09T01:18:00.000-08:00

A snippet of tear
For a wisp of sorrow
Which no one can borrow
But, everyone can harrow

In the desolate shore of my life
I’m waiting to see a comet of hope
But no comet, no hope
Only silence, silence in the darkness

The bells of Christmas is ringing
The octet is heard from the church
It gave me a smirk in my eyes
Oat, I smile maybe the magic of an oz

The only bliss in my life
That lingers in my eyes
Is looking o’er the orient mountain
And watching the sun hiding from the dark

In the early age of eight
I was left to this world as an orphan
Giving me the art of music
Till now I’m walking with it.

With it I satisfy my loaf of bread
With fiddle in my arms I pace to church
And delights all lamentable souls
And bring my daily copper coin

For me world is mere paradise
My exodus from reality continues
By drinking the wines of sorrows
And eating the bread of odium

Yonder lies the mighty sun
Standing behind the clouds; and smiling at me
In the glimmer of the gallant night
God might have heard my prayers

My parents gave me the eau Sucre of love
They eprised my lonely heart
They came to my life like a tempest, and
Gone from my life like an ebb.

Somewhere in this glisten sky
They might be hearing my melody
Up in the sky, tiny diamonds twinkling
Maybe smiling just for me.

Springs of Liberty

2009-11-09T01:16:00.000-08:00

Show me the valley
Where there are fresh roses
More reddish than pure blood
And where there is a fountain of peace

A realm of beauty and hope
Lying on my coach I prayed
God show me such a paradise
Before I enjoy my last breath

After I closed my tearful eyes
In the gloom of my room
I saw a stream of light
Which struck my sight

Brusquely I started my journey through clouds
Carried by some heavenly beings
I gazed the world under me
Not clear but enjoyed with zest

I stirred and stirred and finally
Reached the top of the world
The angels discarded me into the deepness
I screamed as I felt the gravity

Felt a throes in my heart
I was falling into the endless depth
Crossing the soft clouds and rainbows
This reminded me of a promise

I felled upon a mountain
Mountain filled up with soft snow
I rolled and rolled on and on
Through its soft slopes
After a scores of minute
I reached a valley
Recovered from my unconsciousness
I stood at my toe and opened my eyes

My heart failed to believe my eyes tried to show
Of all the place I’ve ever seen
Never been in such an awesome land
This is the place I ever dreamed

I drank the sweetest water
From the streams beside the tree
I passed through the greenish grass
Filled up with dew drops

First time in my life
I enjoyed the sweetness of liberty
I’m in a romantic land
Where there are no limits or boundaries

Yonder lies the beautiful woods
Where I heard a kiss of music
I larked and reckoned what was it
It was the symphony of a nightingale

Rapturously I moved
And saw the smooth flowing waterfalls
Flowing from the heavens
To the fairy land of blithe

I yearned to settle there
Till the edge of doom
Oh, to forget my woes and afflictions
By watching the solar spectrum up in the sky

Time is passing faster and faster
The trace of sunlight is fading
Little stars started tinkling
Its time to say farewell to the day

Placidly I sat beside the tree
And watched the stars on end
I gazed their splendid array
And all at once, a gale struck my flesh

I opened my tearful eyes
Oh, I realized the truth
Alas, it was a dream
And not at all reality

In the dark corner of my room
Surrounded by the cruel cops
I bemoaned but got up
In the midnight hour of December

My time is limited
I have to die
Only few more minute left
To stop my trembling heart beat

Only two more minutes left
To enjoy my last breath
Only one minute left
To taste my last sweat

I turned back to my previous life
When street was my home
And guns my friends
Living in the quicksand of hate and shame

I acquiescent that I sinned
But now I am solemn in my words
I want to lead a new life
And build my own paradise

But it’s difficult to live in this dirty land
Where countries fights cats and dogs
Mothers give birth to little son
Crying In the rain of falling bombs

“Hang him up” roared the cop
They took me to the darkness
But I am not at all sad
To leave this planet of darkness

My soul is trembling for liberty
To fly through this Milky Way
Yonder lies my realm of beauty
Where I’ll live forever and ever and ever

A DAY IN THE FUTURE

2009-11-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

June 3001, somewhere in the outer space a spaceship is coursing in prescribed orbit, it was 2 weeks back we started our voyage from the planet Mars, the place where human race live. My dad used to say our forefathers once lived in Earth, hard to believe if we see that planet, today it’s a dark and dry globe, I remember once we crash landed on earth due to some technical stag on the space ship that was the time I first walked through that planet. It was a shocking and scary place. I could only see endless darkness and lifelessness. We stayed there for a day and half to buy some time before we fix the space ship and continue our journey. I tried to explore, collected some rock samples all I could see is heaps of metallic junks around. How could someone ever possibly live in a place like this? I don’t have a good imagination talent I used to have when I was a kid, so not wasting time thinking about it.

Well, my mission now is to reach to Saturn’s natural moon Titan the biggest of Saturn’s other satellites. The planet which is a store house of fuels, our brothers have already reached there a week ago and heard that the drilling has already started all they need is requisite supply of food which we are bringing for them. Petroleum products are one mineral we are still short in Mars, the scarcity has made us to travel this far. Necessity is the mother of invention, well in this case its discovery. I always wanted to be a cosmonaut like my parents. There are three generations of cosmonauts in my family. My parents met each other in space. My father was working in the space station Babel at that time which rotates round the Mars and they had a serious internal circuit problem, well actually not that serious problem but it was one of the many problems Babel had. Mars send a new group of technician to fix it; my mom was the part of that team. My dad liked her enthusiasm and passion for space exploration. A month later they got married in the spectacular Babel grand amphitheatre in front of thousands of scientists and cosmonauts. I am proud to be in that family, and today I stand in the deck of the space ship “Nephilium” as the youngest captain in the history of Mars, continuing the legacy.

I used to think about my existence, this flesh and blood, this life. I represent a homogeneous race called human race which started its very first life on the planet of Earth thousands and millions of years ago, they lived there freely for generations ruling all the other species, dominating them, dominating the nature, careless and carefree. To error is human we all make mistakes, I have made many mistakes in life, I still do, that’s because I am still human. But today I am afraid to make mistakes, may be everyone who lives in my planet Mars are scared to think of their past mistakes. In schools we are never taught about the history of Earth, I was curious to know what happened to my forefathers there, how we came here. What made the earth so dark and lifeless? The council has strictly made the syllabus erasing the past because they are scared to think of their past mistakes. They are scared if they make the same mistakes again. All I know is a story my grand father told me once, he heard it from his father about the last days of Earth.

About a ruler who ruled the last days of Earth, a man so loved by the people that they called it the golden age of the Earth. There was no difference between the rich and the poor, everyone was treated equally. There was a common government, a common bank, a common currency. world was one nation, one flag, one national song, one army and the once blue planet ruled by one man, a young vibrant and smart leader. Everything the world earned was for the people who live in the world; everybody had a common bank account, that’s the government account. They can buy anything, sell anything, and do anything they want, without any restrictions on the return of the loyalty towards the government. They should be loyal towards the government and their leader. Of course there was an opposition against their fearless leader, the ones who were blind enough to see the prosperity and freedom of act around them. They refused to show their loyalty towards the leader, they refused to attend the seminars and orientation programs conducted by the government where they where given free bio chips with the emblem of the nation, they refused to sign the treaty of loyalty as well as never entered their personal data into the super computer – “the beacon” but those minority might have perished in their arrogance.

It is not sure whether it was the nuclear war between the rebels or a natural calamity that brought the end of the Earth, as per what we are heard from grand parents are that the earth perished due to natural cause. The sun became enlarging the rays became unbearable. The reason why life prevailed on earth was, it was on the perfect distance from the sun, a bit near would burn the earth, a bit far would freeze the earth, it was on the right distance from the sun, the most perfect condition for life to bloom, and as the sun started enlarging the earth became closer to the sun than before and the fate that Venus had happened to Earth. Thanks to the scientist who foresaw this disaster and worked to make the Mars the second home, it was thousands of years of hard work that made life possible on Mars, scientists artificially made an atmosphere over Mars and the atmosphere made rain, rain made rivers, rivers became sea, sea became oceans and here we are, we succeeded, life in the fourth planet of the solar system.

What happened to Venus and Earth can one day happen to Mars, the sun is growing, today Mars is on the perfect distance from the sun, not too far, not too near the safe zone. But one day even the Mars become a meal for sun, hence today we have realized we have to find another home for humanity, and that new home is one of Jupiter’s huge moons “Europa.” Our team is already working on making life possible in Europa, today it is frozen with ice but not forever, the ice will melt to make it a planet of oceans, and slowly Man’s third home. What makes me curious is which side my ancestors belonged, the side of the government or the side of the rebels? The rebels always dreamed of a new world, is it this world they where talking about? Or some other parallel universe? Nobody knows a clear answer, all this happened around thousand years ago and we don’t have a written history of Earth, never allowed to talk about Earth. If it’s not this Mars they where talking about then where? Which part of the universe, here in this space ship I have traveled many light years away from Mars in almost all direction buts it’s just a little compared to the vastness of this universe. I always wish if I could land in a dream world someday my ancestors hoped, dreamed and awaited, or have they attained their dream? If so then, what is the purpose of my life? There is nothing more to attain, everything I needed to attain I received it by birth.

Sometimes I look through the window of the space ship and gaze at the dark yet sparkling, silent yet fearsome infinity. I ask to myself where am I going, where is my final destination. My eyes cannot see the ends of the infinity in all direction, I cannot even see my planet, and it is smaller than an atom. As if standing on the middle of a crossroad totally confused, looking for an answer and nobody around to answer me. I scream aloud and all I hear is my eco am I dead or really alive? I need to poke myself to know.

For a moment I decided to close my eyes and forget about who I really am, I forgot my designation, I forgot my heritage, my name, my achievements, my reputation, my temptations, my ambitions, everything I hold into my self, everything I boast and be proud of, I decided to forget everything and saw myself as a naked man, I tried to see my inner self, beneath all the shields and covers which others see about me, deep inside my flesh and bones, who I really am. I could see a lot of chemical and mechanical processes working inside my body, but is that all? Am I just one among millions of organic creatures in the universe? My heart and mind refused to satisfy with that answer. I felt that answer was given by an escapist, who refused to think beyond reasoning. I knew it, nobody told me but I knew it. I am more than an organic creature. I am a powerhouse like the tiny atoms who doesn’t know they have the power within them which can destroy a planet, so am I. I have the power to create a planet.

I was blind but now I see!

NAMELESS

2009-11-06T22:11:00.000-08:00

I don’t know how to start, should I start like every other fairy tales starts, like Once upon a time, on a second thought I would rather not start that way because this story would be misinterpreted as a fairy tale. This is not a fairy tale though it might sound like one.

I was ten years old when I first walked across the almost dried River of “Faith”, which stands like a border between the land of “sight” and land of “Never seen” I was with my childhood sweet heart Lora, she refused to cross the lake, she was afraid to do so, elders say it is a cursed place nobody are allowed to go there, but I have never found anything cursed about the other side of the lake. The other side of the shore was one of the most beautiful places I can ever imagine, beautiful trees which bear strange fruits through out the year, have flowers never seen anywhere else. In autumn days when all the trees shed their leaves, the other side of the shore, trees blossomed with flowers and fruits. I always wanted to climb those trees and eat those fruits. I pulled Lora with me while I walked across the wide river after my school.

Lora was so scared of her parents, she said we should not go; I mocked at her and acted as if I am brave. She stepped into the lake to prove that she is not scared. The water was so cold that we felt a chill when we started walking across the flowing water, the level of water increased as we stepped forward it is no more being ankle level it, it now was above the knee as we reached the middle of the lake it was almost hip level, and we struggled against the current to move forward. The round pebbles in the lake of “Faith” were very slippery, Lora slipped several times while walking, holding her hands even I lost balance several times and I lost my school bag while helping Lora, that was all I had with me and I lost it while crossing the Lake, but we walked forward. Finally we reached the other side of the shore drenched in water. We walked over the silky soft crystal sands on the shore. What we saw was irresistibly mind blowing. This whole place smelled like the most expensive perfume, beautiful birds and butterflies flew all around. The songs of the birds, the ruffling of leaves, the sound of the flowing lake, all played their cords, together this place sounds like an opus written by some great musician. We where speechless, no words can explain the land of “Never seen”.

We ate the berries that taste like honey; we walked deep into the woods, passing the huge transparent bushes and leaves, we saw flowers with colors we never known before, there where water falls, flowing from up above, beyond sight could rest. I felt peace within, my heart skipped a beat. I knew this is the dream I always wanted to see. I’m sure Lora also felt the same, no regrets for leaving the land of “sight”. We continued our toddle, excited and zestful. We saw beautiful butterflies flying around us, singing beautiful tunes. Strange every creature here sings. After sometime we both rested beside a huge rock overseeing the green mountain and the smooth water falls.

As I was listening to the song of the squirrels, a sound interrupted, I heard someone calling me by my name. I turned back, Lora was baffled, shook her head, ‘Not me’. Soon I heard it again. I started to panic, I heard the voice, but could not see who it was. I asked who are you and where are you hiding? The voice replied ‘it is not me; it is you who are hiding from me’. The voice continued, I am the rock you where resting before. I couldn’t believe a rock can speak?

Oh yes, my son, I do speak, but you never listened me before. I replied, you never talked to me before, I have seen several rock they never talked to me. The rock smiled and said, that’s the specialty of this place the air you breathe here has a special power, it interprets my words so that you understands it. But to understand what I say you need to breathe the power of this air, not all gets this chance my boy, you are selected. Oh yes, even this air can sing like others, his name is ‘Good spirit’. He is very emotional sometimes.

He continued, you know what we like most about you kid? You didn’t come alone; you brought your friend to share the same happiness you have now. We always knew you would one day come here, we where watching you all your life, we saw how you struggled against the waves of River Faith, you even lost your school bag, still you chose to cross the river to see this land of the Never seen. We know one day you will bring most of your friends to this land.

I was surprised to hear the words of the rock; I asked him what this place was? and why everyone was scared to come here The rock replied there was a time when everyone used to live here and then one day the unthinkable happened. A bright shining star named impostor rose in the sky on the other side of the river. There was no other star like it; it was like an emerald on the sky, bright and radiant. Everyone looked at it with awe. It started singing songs, everyone started dancing in its music there was great feast and happiness. The star said come to this side of the river, there is more love and joy here. Almost all the animals and plants told the humans, don’t leave this place never move away from the River Faith, but none heard their words. The serpents called ‘Liars’ where the first to cross the river, then the pigs called “the filthy”. The liars reached the other shore and shouted ‘this is the land of our dreams, come with us, lets build a new world better than the one we live’. The Owls and bats called evil and darkness rejoiced in these words and moved out of this shore next. The scorpions called ‘poison’ rebuked the land they where living and said we where blind all this while, thanks for the imposter, he opened our eyes, I’m leaving come with us.

The imposter along with all the creatures on the other side of the shore started singing together in harmony, they all where happy than ever before. The humans started to discus among themselves. The dove called ‘righteous’ came to warn them, the Lamb named ‘True love’ pleaded don’t do this, don’t leave. Some cruel men caught the lamb and killed it. The air in this land became sad seeing the sacrifice of True Love, he wept for days and all the animals and plants came to console the air. Seeing the sadness of the air the rainbow called ‘promise’ and the clouds called ‘Truth’ said to humans, they all will regret if they leave this land and heed the words of liar and imposter. Truth warned they will take you away from me. They never listened to anyone and they walked away from the shore of ‘salvation’ stepped into the river of Faith and walked against the waves of faith. Everyone left, not even one stayed back, we all called them no one turned back.

When everyone reached the other shore, the snakes showed them a tree, with fruits of different colors; he shouted come lets part, take the fruits of our freedom. let us eat it and live forever. He showed the tree of death and said it is the tree of life; it gives you the knowledge of both the lands. He broke the fruit into two and showed the seed and said, it is life, life falls on the ground and becomes another tree, the tree bears flowers and the flower becomes another fruit again. This is the secret of life and death. This is the circle of life everything in the universe follow this rule. Everyone ate the fruit and their eyes opened, what they saw was fearsome. They saw the true color of the star imposter, it is not green anymore, it is red and black, and the imposter stopped its song. There was confusion among the humans darkness filled the places, the bats and owls rejoiced they shouted now I can see, I was blind before now I see.

Humans became a slave race from that day onwards, the cloud of truth left them the shore of salvation is far from them and they where scared to face the waves of faith. They became blind to see the land of ‘never seen’. Today after thousands of years, a son of woman reached this shore, we all are happy about your return.

I held Lora’s hand and said, thanks but we need to go back, trust me next time we won’t be coming alone. I want my friend also experience this joy we missed all our life. They smiled and gave farewell to us. I stepped into the river; suddenly I turned back and asked. ‘What if I walk against the river of faith, will I also be slave like my forefathers? I heard the voice of the rock from far away, don’t worry kid, I’ll send you two of my best friends with you, the air of this land ‘Good Spirit’ and his wind ‘Grace’. They will help you in crossing the river against the waves of Faith, and help you overcome all your troubles’.

With a new strength we entered the river, walked against the strong current and slippery pebbles of Faith and crossed the river one step at a time. Our hearts where filled with a new strength an assurance that the Good spirit and grace are there to help us. After that several times I reached the shore with my friends we walked and danced on the shore of salvation with joy

Me and Lora are getting older, still the Good Spirit and Grace never left us a single moment of our life. After all this while we realized the truth, without the Good Spirit and his grace we cannot breathe, we cannot live. Today with my family and friends we live in the Land of ‘Never seen’. We build our house on top of the rock, he is our guide and providence ever since.

This is not a fairy tale though it might look like one. This is the story of my life, this is real.

A BED TIME STORY

2009-11-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

“Dad, stay with me, don’t go” the child holds his hand tight; she is suffering from a fever for the last few days. The doctors gave the medication, but her temperature is still high. Her Dad sat next to her bed, he holds her hand, and he could feel the temperature of her body. He looked at her and smiled, ran his hand over her brown hair and said. “Don’t worry dear, daddy won’t go anywhere, I’ll be here”. It made her feel better; she closed her eyes and smiled. She felt a sense of satisfaction and protection. He tried to take the teddy bear from her hand and tug her to sleep. But she opened her eyes and holds the teddy tight and says, ‘dad can you tell me a story, I can’t sleep’. He got blank for a second, “a story? “Sure dear, he assured, but he didn’t had a faint idea what to tell his daughter. She eagerly looked at him. He took a deep breath and left his mind to wander to past and pick some story for his daughter. He thought what story his mom used to tell him, when he was a kid. Sadly, he could not remember any of them. Something’s like this should be left to mom, but in this case he is her father and mother. He lost his wife the day his daughter was born. Finally he decided to tell that story.

He broke the silence, “once upon a time, there was a kingdom far, far away, a land which was always bright, a land without night. The land was so beautiful that cannot be explained by words. Green hills filled with blue and purple flowers, cold and misty. Beautiful waterfalls flowing from the top of the misty hills, the streams as pure and clear like a mirror. Birds of paradise singing and flying, the land so beautiful we can breathe the air of peace. “Dad, is this place real? She asked. Of Course dear, it is far, far away dad replied. The kingdom was ruled by children, the elders listened to them and where proud of them. Only a pure hearted child can retain peace in the land because peace dwells in innocence. Dad smiled and patted her soft little hand and said, they where cute and beautiful like you. Child smiled and kissed his hand and eagerly looked at him to hear the rest of the story.

He continued, one day the children where playing in the garden suddenly they saw a dark cloud up in the sky. They stopped playing and gazed at the sky, the cold wind became hot suddenly. As they where looking at the sky a group of people ran towards them screaming, “Run, dragon Run, hide yourself” they caught the children and took them inside the palace. They said the elders patrolling in the western hills saw dragons coming towards our land. They are coming to destroy us; it is the work of the evil wizard of the land of Eradius. There dragons are the children of the wizard Demonius. These dragons bring sickness, pain and death to many. The children asked, is there any cure for this sickness? The elders replied, yes there is but…. they paused. The cure is only with a man called ‘Wise man’. Nobody knows his name, whenever our land is attacked by Demonius, he comes to rescue us. We don’t know where he lives; he is the only one powerful enough to fight the powers of the wizard.

Back in the village the dragons started damaging the houses and beautiful gardens with its fierce breath of fire. The land became filled with dark cloud and darkness filled the land. Elders and children together got inflicted by nameless deceases and sickness. Peace has gone from the land, beauty is hiding in darkness. ‘Dad, what happened then?’ dad smiled and continued.

The child king’s little sister is in death bed, all the doctors and elders failed to save her, her health is going down day by day. The young ruler is standing on the balcony hopeless and depressed. All he could see is emptiness and endless darkness, his hopeless heart spoke aloud, ‘somebody bring an end to my sister’s pain, somebody hold my hand’. Suddenly he felt a hand holding his, he looked his side. He was so scared he stumbled with panic. To his left he saw an old man with long white hair and beard in a white spotless gown. His face was shining in the darkness, he smiled and said, son why did you took time to call me, and I was waiting for your call all this while. The child said, who you are, I don’t know you.

The old man replied, I am what I am, I existed before the birth of universe, and I existed before silence. I broke the silence, I spoke and the universe heard me. I am the voice the universe first heard. You hear different voices around, the sound of lightning, the sound of rain drops falling, the twitter of birds, sound of dry leaves, but I put words to these sounds and gave to you, only to humans so that they call me and I answer them. When words came out of voices, it became meaningful and I gave power to these words. A sound or voice in the nature don’t have power, but words have, words with meaning. You have this power within you. If you believe you will see miracle today. Do you believe in me? The child looked at him and replied, I know you are the wise man, the elders are talking about, yes, I believe in you, only you can help us.

He smiled and said no, I cannot help you; it is you who have to help yourself. You have the power with you, now you have to use it. The child looked with a nervous doubt, but how? The old man pointed his fingers towards the wall; they saw an army of ants moving in prescribed order in a straight line carrying small grains of food. He said, do you see these ants? Yes, my lord answered the child. He said, these ants are worker ants, the moment they are hatched from their eggs, they know the purpose of their life, no one have to tell them, the start their work day in and day out, searching tiny grains of food, preserving it, that’s their life and they live their time doing what they are supposed to do, yet they don’t complain. We all have a reason behind our existence, a purpose to live for.

You asked me for help, here am I helping you, I can show you the way but you have to go through it. Look around, all your loved ones are in their bed, they are not dieing they are sleeping, they are seeing nightmares in their bed, they are scared, but they are not dead. Arise, now look inside you, and realize the purpose of your life. You can save yourself and your loved ones if you are ready to be the voice of your spirit. Your spirit cannot speak, but your bodies can, if you listen to your spirit and speak for it, your body will see the result. ‘Be brave, I see a brave warrior in front of me, open your eyes and see yourself. Shout aloud let the whole world hear what your spirit wants to say’. Saying this wise man disappeared in thin air.
The king looked around; he could feel the courage in his heart as if someone has taken a heavy burden from him. He smiled with a sense of satisfaction and confidence. Ran towards his sister’s death bed and shouted with joy, ‘get up sister, its time to play, she opened her eyes and understood everything in her brother’s smile. She got up from her bed with a new strength; both the brother and sister stepped into every house in the kingdom and walked back with a multitude of happy faces. Kids and elders followed them, conquering the land they stepped. Breaking, hitting and shattering the powers of the Demonius and finally they saw the dark clouds passing away from their sky. Peace and joy came out of their hiding place. They won the war the mightiest way ever.

The man finished his bed time story; his daughter asked ‘wills my sickness also go away dad? Of course sweet pie, believe what I said, its all in your mind all you have to do is get up. He smiled and tugged her goodnight and went to his room.

Next morning he woke up by the sound next to his bed. ‘Dad wake up, its time to play, he opened his eyes and understood everything by his daughter’s smile.

A THOUGHT BEFORE BED

2009-11-06T21:33:00.000-08:00

We are losing everything, scientist says, we are losing the protection of Ozone layers, some say we are losing the old climate we had, read in the news paper we already lost some of the endangered species, we wont see those creatures again, well if I have seen it, my children wont see, unless its stuffed and kept in some museums. A lot of things we have seen are in the verge of extinction may be I haven’t seen a lot of things my father or my forefathers have seen in their lives. It is the same old planet we live, but not the same anymore. We still stand on the brown soil; have sunlight above our head, but one day who knows we wake up realizing we won’t see it again. Only when we sip a coffee and think about it we realize how much we have control over this planet we breathe. In one side we are losing our blue planet where huge dinosaurs once roamed freely proud that nothing can do anything to them. One the other hand we are losing ourselves, losing the human race.

More than losing ozone layers, losing climate, or other species we are losing our own species, we are losing role models. Today if we take a deep breath and with a clear mind look around for a real man or woman, child or old, scream on top of our voice for somebody whom we can look ahead for saving this doomed world, we cant find anyone, only silence and emptiness remains in our mind, whom we look as a role model? the politicians? The ones we call our leaders, those esteemed gentlemen are busy enough to take care of themselves that they need to be reminded time and again about their purpose.

Today I attended a meeting, it was something to be proud of, my mom’s uncle successfully completed fiftieth years in priesthood. It was a small meeting arranged to honor his service to the society. I know him since childhood, there are very few people I respect he was one of them. My extended family has at present 17 priests and may be around 15 or more nuns. In those days my dad used to say most of the families were large, some with ten children or more, and they used to dedicate one son or daughter to god and the same way my mother’s uncle also got dedicated to God, or is it his own decision, well I have never asked him. From the way he lives, I can guess it was his own choice. He has helped a lot of poor people, he never disclosed anything he has done, but truth cannot be hided for so long, a lot of people speak with gratitude about him. He has helped our family several times in need. Through his life he has showed the way, truly a role model for many people but he is getting older. That smiling face, that caring hug won’t last forever that generation is passing over.

Sometimes I hope if he lived forever, he could remain a star of hope for many hopeless lives. I know that won’t be possible one day we all have to say goodbye to this brown soil we stand, the ray of light on our shoulder. This feeling of relieve down our lungs when we inhale, if we are not able to do it again, we are a lifeless body. Human life is that simple. We don’t have control over our life. The friends we see daily, they wave at us, smile back, the other day we see them in the obituary column in the news paper. A heart attack, a careless crossing road, a burglary, a fire in the house, different way of saying goodbye. Some say it in a royal way; some don’t get chance for that.

One day we are born the next day we have crossed seventy years, time moves so fast, looking back at memories good and bad we all have our own story to tell, everyone can write one Nobel prize winning story, that’s his own story. We call some bad guys because they have made us cry, made us angry, we hate them but if we listen to them, even they have their own story to tell, their own perspective on a single matter. Seventy or eighty years the fortunate ones, or should I call the unfortunate ones lives close to hundred and that’s it, he has lived enough.

Human life is so short. Half his lives he will be learning the trade to live successfully. After his studies, comes the real phase of life, to implement his learned knowledge and make a living, and like the birds and animals prove themselves to attract the mate, even we try our luck in all unlikely places, some while working, some on the street, in coffee houses, bars and pubs where ever the opposite sex inhibit. The ones who are good in acting or know how to lie gets the best ones. Some lucky ones without any of this ability get the best ones. While the others who are not good in any of these abilities gets left out in the competition. Well about me, i am listed in the last group. Sometimes I wonder why god asked Noah to fill his ark with animals in pairs, and left the single innocent animals to die in the flood. Sounds cruel, its not their mistake they are not smart enough to attract their mate. But I am not going to die in any flood, because I know I am born with one rib short that means god has made someone with my missing rib, somewhere in this planet, its just that we didn’t so far get a chance to talk to each other. And after we get our soul mate, we dream for a larger family, and when it materializes we work for more salary. More extra work, more time in office than our family, and one day we make all our dreams come true, a bigger house, a better college for the junior, good facility for them to grow, when we feel like we have reached the top of Maslowian Hierarchy, reached self-actualization point, then the junior looks at our eyes and shouts “I don’t need any of this, where where you, when I needed you, I don’t need a dad like this” and bangs the door before he leaves the house build for him. That’s the point we realize we didn’t achieve anything in life. We feel we are still standing outside the gate of the college we studied with a graduation certificate in our hand, looking at the passing cars, confused which way to go, where to start the life, how to kick start things. We realize we never moved from that point.

After all these years when we move towards the end of our lives, sitting on an easy chair sipping a cup of hot coffee, looking at the green grass adjusting the specs to read the daily news paper, all we can read is, news of wars, rebel, terrorist attacks, suicide bombs, burglary, killing, rape, endless talks and meetings with countries for peace, some of those meetings started when we were young, and some scientists are giving alarming news like the planet is dieing by its own, almost destroyed ozone layers, melting ice burgs in the poles, rising sea levels, Tsunamis, islands and beaches in water, direct attack of UV rays and Gama rays, new epidemics, cureless deceases everywhere. In the next page fuel prices rocketing all time hike, famines in one part of the world, floods in other parts, Tornado in one city, forest fire destroying the green. Seams like all the elements are taking revenge on humans. Is it worth living in this planet? We are born in misery and will we die in misery? Is the word hope only seen in dictionary? Is there anyone to look for hope? Any leader to make a difference in the world? Any role models?

We remove our specs, get up from the chair folding the news paper with a heavy heart, because we know the answer for all those questions, we have answered it several times. Nobody, there is no one in flesh to end it all forever. Man cannot do anything, we are helpless, and we will live and die according to Albert Pike’s plans and dream. We all are common people, we are the worker ants, who live and die like a worker ants that is how it always be. One day we all die, the air we breathe will no more enter the chambers of lungs, the heart will one day stop beating, the eyes which is open no more see anything, only darkness, pitch black, everything that has a beginning has an end. The only Hope humanity can have is in the supernatural.

Time to read the Bible.